We already know that I love you, we know how much and why – so what is left?
The how. How I fell in love with you, during countless moments of small intimacies, large laughter, and every shape of kindness.
Even before I knew it, I fell in love with you whilst building a bed, knowing you’d fuck me on it, but not that we would make it ours. I fell in love with you with your hand on the small of my back, telling me stories as I fell asleep – any voice can send me to dreamland, but yours guarantees peace. I fell in love with you at the top of a lighthouse, running through the rain across darkened headlands; I fell deeper once we slammed the car doors and your lips found mine, mascara pooling on your nose as you finally pulled away.
I fell in love with you in the most beautiful places. I fell in love with you during ugly times with worse backdrops. Throughout dinners we cooked together, throughout the times when you were so bad, I wasn’t allowed to talk. Through it all, I fell in love with you.
I fell in love with you with fingers locked together, legs messy, yours long and mine short, somehow tangled up in one another forcing us to remain in bed, awake, until well after sunrise. With your breath in my mouth, with your taste lingering on every part of my body, I fell in love with you. When we fought, still I fell. When you turned your back, I wondered how you had so much control of your limbs when I remained in free fall, ever falling when it came to you.
Driving at night. Listening to you sing. Cups of tea passing from your hands to mine. Falling asleep with a cat in between us. Holding my hand as I get tattooed. Making you fresh juice in the summertime. Laughing at you when you fall off your skateboard. Being lifted up over the top of waves – kissing as they crash around our shoulders. Your shoulders.
I continue to fall each day.